2019: A year of embracing the fear.
Where do I begin to tell the story of an entire year in a single post?
An entire year!
A lot has happened since I last wrote, and rereading and reliving 2018 through a forgotten blog resurrected by my Facebook memories feed reminded me that I need to be better with this writing blogging thing. I need to be better, because memories of our agility journey are important (to us, anyway), and I don’t want to forget a minute of … well, I don’t want to forget a minute of anything. With any dog, time is precious.
Suffice it to say, if I thought 2018 — our inaugural year in agility competitions — had Henry finding “good work,” then 2019 cemented it. In 2019, he became a different dog. At the same time, 2019 also exposed the fact that Gus didn’t burst into this sport with a permanently-emblazoned S on his chest. Don’t get me wrong; in Gus’ case, setbacks although not welcomed, forced Jen and Gus to reacquaint themselves with each other and address their issues on their way to becoming an even stronger team.
What’s that adage? Take one step back to take two steps forward?
And, so we did. Step back, that is.
2018 left us feeling like we needed something different. The year left us feeling like we needed a change. Nothing was wrong, per se, but I just felt like I hadn’t yet exposed the layers of dog that is Henry to understand fully what he needed from me and what we both needed as an agility team. And, both Jen and I came to the consensus that we needed a push outside of our comfort zone in a way that had not yet been done. At the time we came to that decision, we didn’t quite realize that being pushed out of our comfort zone would be a constant theme for the year in more ways than one, including one of the most serious stressors I’d ever faced — selling the house in which I’d lived for eighteen years and buying a new one.
Enter Tracy Riley. She told us to “embrace the fear.”
One lesson at Periland. Then another at Hog Dog; again at Hog Dog; and, back to Periland. We scooped up lessons the way Pac Man eats dots. Lessons turned into space in a class. Classes had us enrolling in seminars. Blind Crosses. International Handling. Speedstakes. At least for me, there was much fear to be embraced. There still is plenty of fear to be embraced.
The thing was, somehow and in some way, Tracy “got” the complicated little dog that is Henry, and that has made all the difference. Well, Tracy’s “understanding” and the fact that Jen and I were open to approaching training with a new instructor as if we’d never had instruction at all. “Treat me like a blank slate,” I told her in no uncertain terms, because Jen and I were open to starting over.
Two happy boys after an incredible day of spring seminars at Periland.
Starting over meant thinking outside of the box and diving into the dirt. Starting over meant understanding our shortcomings. It meant forcing ourselves to handle in certain ways that were uncomfortable for us (for example, blind crosses over front crosses) if those certain ways worked better for our dogs and, thus, ultimately made all of us better teams. Starting over meant not only anticipating frustration, but welcoming it again…and again…and again.
Starting over reminded us that it was even more important to listen to what our dogs were telling us. When Henry and Gus made it abundantly clear they loved running on dirt, in March, we gave them DREAM Park.
I probably never will know what it was about DREAM Park on that day that made the experience so special. Was it because we’d finally gotten to meet a friend — and judge — with an in-person hug? Was it the dirt? Was it because we were surrounded and supported by other friends whom we now consider family? Was it the ever-elusive table-getting Open Standard qualifying run? Whatever it was, DREAM Park gave us our collective single best day of showing in the history of the boys’ fledgling agility careers. On that day — and it may only be in my mind — the boys were perfect and we were growing more confident and out of our comfort zone.
DREAM Park led to new agility destinations. New agility destinations led to new venues (UKI) and new games; new venues led to the day that Henry and I found true teamwork. On May 24, 2019, Henry and I — and Jen and Gus — tried UKI for the first time. After running most of our runs, NFC (Not for Competition), and at the urging of Tracy (“just go for it…you’ve got this”) for Speedstakes — our last run of the day, Henry and I had, as Judge Bill Pinder described “one hell of a run.” I felt like I was having an out of body experience in that, for those un-video’d 39.040 seconds in time and space, everything went right. To date, that run remains my favorite with him — not because we got first place or because we Q’d — but because it was the first run where we truly were a team. I gave him what he needed — and he threw it down. In that run, we caught a glimpse of what we’re capable of doing together in an agility ring, so now we practice hard to achieve it again.
In 2019, we willingly thrust ourselves into the uncomfortable. In doing so, we grew. Jen and Gus; Henry and me. We experienced the spectrum that is the sport of agility: the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Weaknesses were exposed (Gus’ A-frame/Henry’s continued dreaded table), that we were forced to address, but by the end of the year incontrovertible progress had been made (Gus had 5 out of 6 A-frames at the Oriole “kitty litter” trial in December/Henry threw down two tables effortlessly in the Dulles Gateway CPE trial on December 15, 2019). We made new friends and travelled halfway across the country to visit with dear friends (ahem, family) while cheering for others at the AKC Nationals in Tulsa. Side bar: it’s amazing experiencing such a big event as AKC nationals without any pressure to compete.
Most of all, we learned to understand who Henry and Gus are and what they need from us to continue moving forward in the sport of agility. Are we perfect? I’m not sure there’s quite such a thing as perfection in agility. Are we perfectly happy? Absolutely. I know that with a partner who now willingly runs with me, I have to step up my game as a handler (and cough get into better shape cough to run WITH him). Jen has a better understanding with Gus that it’s not always about the running…erm racing Gus… but about the communication between the both of them.
Gus ends 2019 with his AKC Novice and Open F.A.S.T titles, his CPE CL2-F, CL2-H, CL2-S, CL2-R, CL3-H titles, and he came away with a UKI Masters Series bye. More importantly, he ends 2019 well on his way to overcoming any issues with on-side weaves and his A-Frame. Forward focus and communication are on their task list for 2020.
My favorite team’s startline ritual.
As for the little Sheltie Mafia Godfather, Henry, he ends 2019 with AKC titles in: Open Standard Preferred, his Excellent JWW Preferred, and his Excellent F.A.S.T. In CPE, he acquired the following titles: CL2-F, CL2-H, CL2-S, CL2-R, CL3-R, and CL3-H. He earned a qualifying score in UKI Senior Jumping, and we will never forget the spectacular Speedstakes breakthrough. Although we had several titles and qualifying runs, 2019 was more important to us for the intangible wins Henry and I achieved; these wins cannot ever be measured in ribbons, but to me, they are worth more than gold. I finish 2019 having a better understanding of what Henry needs from me as a handler and having seen a vision of the team we’re capable of being. Our 2020 task list includes confidence on the table, in the weaves, and in focusing on my own confidence and handling skills which I now need to keep up with a partner who happily runs.
We leave 2019 and venture into 2020 realizing that embracing the fear isn’t as scary as it once sounded. Though I may still run like I have two left feet, and though post turns still seem completely foreign to me, understanding is everything. No matter the outcome, any day is great day that we get to run with our best friends, even if it means playing in the basement in channel weaves and a teeter. In agility, the here and now is everything.
Lastly, Henry, Gus, Jennifer, and I are thankful for the new friends we made in 2019, and we look forward to spending time with you in 2020. We wish everyone a happy, healthy, and an adventurous new year. Live your dreams as best as you can.
The boys each had a “perfect” days at CPE trial in March, 2019.
Hyattsville DTC July 2019.
The Sheltie Mafia
2019 is in the books :)
